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If you call me old, I’ll call you ageist
and reference the work I’ve put in for this planet
If you call me a terrorist, I’ll call you just as bad
and take the value out of your reason
If you call me a queer, I’ll call you a faggot
for a significantly better statement
If you call me poor, I’ll call you self-interested
There are more sensible ways to spending
If you call me a liberal, I’ll call you a knucklehead
You fucking knucklehead
If you call me a sinner, I’ll call you a zealot
Don’t worry praying for me
I have Jesus hanging on hold

If you’ve draw the battle line
Well, I know who’s side that I will stand by
If the battle lines have been drawn
Well, I know who’s side that I will fight on

If you call me old, I’ll call you ageist
and put you in a headlock
If you call me a terrorist, I’ll call you a patriot
and wave your flag upside-down
If you call me a queer, I’ll call you a bigot
Go gather the baseball bats
If you call me poor, I’ll call you a capitalist
and I’ll burn all your fucking money
If you call me a liberal, I’ll call you a knucklehead
You fucking knucklehead
If you call me a sinner, I’ll call you a zealot
Don’t worry praying for me
I have Satan hanging on hold

Well, I need you like foreign oil
and you need me like a hospital bed
But girl you ain’t got no health insurance
and the U S of A don’t care if you’re dead.

Because a little bit of skepticism can go a long way,
sell 50 presale tickets and then you can play
all those dirty vegan punx, are so full of hate.
You’re the Nixon to my Watergate.

My best friends Dionysus, and Apollo OD’d on crack,
we’re just runaway kids with books full of pages
‘till we learn our lesson, we ain’t comin’ back.

‘Cause those who scream the loudest will always be heard.
All cats are beautiful,
and all cops are bastards (not really).
They can drag me away,
but I swear I’ll fight back,
because I love you like the Patriot Act.

Zombie Crew

lyrics:

Back from the dead, goin’ to the show
I can’t feel my pulse but I’m still gonna go
I’m clinically deceased but I don’t give a fuck
I’m a flesh-creepin’ horror and I’m ready to rock!

Rockin’ with my friends the zombie crew ZOMBIE CREW
10,000 Volts of current fills the room ZOMBIE CREW
A sea of flailing arms, demented grins ZOMBIE CREW
Thunder fills the air as the madness begins!

A horde of gibbering, braindead freaks
In search of flesh we walk the streets
A congregation of the slain
I’m gonna eat your brain!

Do the Zombie-Shuffle like an Old-School Ghoul
We’re the Backups from Beyond, we’re the Cannibal Crew
We’re the Rockin’ Resurrected and we’ve come for your head
Let’s party like we’re fuckin’ dead!
Three weeks dead, you smell like shit
We’re the Monsters of the Mosh, Demons of the Pit
This night was made for us, we’re the Living Dead
I’m gonna eat your fuckin’ head!

We’re rockin’ to some red-hot lixx
And fleeing from those redneck hicks
Suffering this post-mortal pain
I’m gonna eat your brain!

Do the Zombie-Shuffle like an Old-School Ghoul
We’re the Backups from Beyond, we’re the Cannibal Crew
We’re the Rockin’ Resurrected and we’ve come for your head
Let’s party like we’re fuckin’ dead!
Three weeks dead, you smell like shit
We’re the Monsters of the Mosh, Demons of the Pit
This night was made for us, we’re the Living Dead
I’m gonna feast upon your heart and eat your fuckin’ head!

Back from the dead, goin’ to the show
I can’t feel my pulse but I tell you Mom I’m gonna go
I’m clinically deceased but I don’t give a fuck
‘Cause I’m a flesh-creepin’ horror and I’m ready to rock!

Rockin’ with my friends the zombie crew ZOMBIE CREW
10,000 Volts of current fills the room ZOMBIE CREW
A sea of flailing arms, demented grins ZOMBIE CREW
Your chances of survival could be slim!

ZOMBIE CREW

Opposite Day

lyrics:

Another beer for me? No thanks; already had one
I gotta work early, plus I don’t like to have fun
Last Monday I was first one in and last to leave
No drinkin’ on the weekend; love to work; need no reprieve
What the fuck?

Opposite Day
Is a fun game to play
Opposite Day
Saying things you’d never say
Opposite Day
Is it for real? No way! 
It’s Opposite day! Opposite day!

I’m real concerned about my 401k
Check the Dow like every hour and I shower every day
Politics? Now we’re talking! How ‘bout a debate?
But let’s not stay too long ‘cause church is starting; we’ll be late — oh no!

Opposite Day
Is a fun game to play
Opposite Day
Saying things you’d never say
Opposite Day
Is it for real? No way! 
It’s Opposite Day! Opposite Day!

Opposite Day
The scary thing is, some would say
Opposite Day
Their days are like this normally
What the fuck?

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